Although I do not wish to inflame already sensitive nerves, I will remark that I recently discovered the LBGTQ+ sandwich. It is in a YouTube video by Joel Leal of You Suck at Cooking (which may or may not be true in your particular case).
If you happen to be the guy living in an isolated shack in northern Idaho who is the sole American who does not know what LBGTQ+ stands for, I trust you can do your own research.
Since in this context three of those initials stand for fresh produce items, I thought the sandwich would be relevant here.
L is for lettuce. You can go for iceberg, which, we are told, is so called “because only 10 percent of it is above water when submerged”—which I did not know. I always thought that, as is commonly believed, it was called that because it was shipped over ice in the early twentieth century, as in Steinbeck’s East of Eden.
Or Bibb or Boston lettuce, “which is more flimsy and dainty, just like the people in Boston.” (Which is either ironic or the utterance of a man who has never driven in Boston.) Or “battle-hardened” romaine. (I guess the people at the California Leafy Greens Marketing Agreement see it that way nowadays.)
G is guacamole, made of course from “guacvacados.” Mr. Leal informs us that “most people don’t do this, but if you cut open the pit, you can get more guacvacado out of there.” Some quantity of raw onions and pickled jalapenos is to be added—but only “17 molecules worth” of cilantro, which sounds about right.
B is for bacon, which Mr. Leal says is best cooked by baking.
T is tomatoes: we learn that the Internet recommends Early Girl, Beefsteak, German Queen, Big Boy, and Black Prince, Green Giant, and “field” varieties for sandwiches.
As for Q, you probably didn’t see this coming, and neither did I. It’s queso, which is what our friends south of the border call cheese. “Could be slice of queso, queso fundito, queso blanco, or tex mex queso,” or, as Mr. Leal selects, that “traditional Danish queso” known as spicy havarti.
The +: we’ve already seen the jalapenos, onions, and cilantro. Mr. Leal claims that his fondness for another, and crucial, element—mayonnaise—is due to his quarter-French heritage, although I think I can safely assert that fondness for this essential sandwich ingredient does not depend on any Gallic blood.
I haven’t tried the LGBTQ+ sandwich yet, but it sounds good to me.
