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Finding a fungus that’s right for you

I’m a Scorpio, so I guess it’s trumpet mushrooms for me.

The Mushroom Council BB #:161860 has come up with an amusing way to promote their favorite product: choosing mushrooms by your horoscope sign.

According to the council’s scheme, mild and sensitive Cancers should choose the delicate enoki—perhaps in a warm and comforting Asian-style soup. Grounded and earthy Virgos match with shiitakes, “which may seem modest at first, but . . . have a strong punch of umami and can be trusted to accent any dish.”

Even-handed Libra gets, of course, The Blend (which “combines ground meat and finely chopped mushrooms for meals that are more delicious, nutritious and sustainable”).

Solid and reliable Capricorn corresponds with “classic and loyal white button mushrooms,” which “are always there when you need them. As one of the most common mushroom varieties, you can depend on a white button to be at your local grocery store, ready for whatever recipe you have in mind.”

Pisces, on the other hand, “have a strong intuition and tend to focus on their inner journey. Just like the oyster mushroom, they can be delicate and a little mystical.”

Intense Scorpio gets the “happy and energetic” trumpet mushroom because “it may seem intimidating at first” but “when cooked, it has a powerful umami flavor.”

The chart isn’t a model of astrological rigor. Sometimes the mushrooms are matched with your sun sign character, other times with the kind of year you’re supposed to have. I can say from experience that while Scorpios may be headed for a “happy and energetic” year, those words are rarely applied to Scorpios in general.

But then rigor isn’t the point. The list is just another way of getting you to talk and think about mushrooms. Which, as a matter of fact, just what this article is doing.

Here’s a rundown on all twelve zodiac signs:

Aries (March 21-April 19): portabella
Taurus (April 20-May 20): crimini
Gemini (May 21-June 20): yellow oyster
Cancer (June 21-July 22): enoki
Leo (July 23-August 22): maitake
Virgo (August 23-September 22): shiitake
Libra (September 23-October 22): The Blend
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): trumpet
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): pink oyster
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): white button
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): beech
Pisces (February 19-March 20): oyster

Richard Smoley, editor for Blue Book Services, Inc., has more than 40 years of experience in magazine writing and editing, and is the former managing editor of California Farmer magazine. A graduate of Harvard and Oxford universities, he has published eleven books.